When a client asked me to fix one simple little thing, I would always accidentally break two or three other things. But at least I was right there to fix it, the Dodo on the spot. It was a service they couldn't refuse. I got so good at being a clumsy unhandy handyman that breaking things became second nature to me, like breathing in and breathing out.

Why so many people were out of work, was a complete mystery to me. There are always plenty of things we oafs can accidentally break. But, of course, I would never break anything on purpose; that's very un-Dodo like. Work is all around us; it's everywhere. Try it and you'll see. After you accidentally break some­thing, offer to fix it immediately.

So as you can see there's plenty of work for all you awkward bungling maintenance men. You just have to carry your “ sorry if I accidentally broke it tools ” along with your “ fix it all tools . ” It's that simple. And for most jobs the same tool can be used for breaking and repairing. For a clumsy waddling Dodo like me it was a cinch. Being such a feather-fingered birdbrain, I always broke something no matter how careful I was. Yet, like I said, I never did it on purpose. That wouldn't be honest.

So if you're an unhandy handyman like me you'll never be out of work. You'll smash things with your “ break it all/fix it all tools ,” your foot, hands, or with your butt, all unintentionally, of course. But always be honest and just repair whatever you wreck and ruin. Well, that's all I was doing, solving the klutzy man's unemployment problem. Oops, I guess I won't be getting too many jobs after they read this!