Every day thousands of people get lost in their homes or yards. And somebody has to find them or else they'll be lost forever. That's why I started my rescu ing crusade cuz no one else was looking for them. I found more lost people than all the Lost and Founds in the world ever did. If they were lost in their homes or backyards, I would always find them. I haven't failed once.

Whenever I was waddling along the streets of America , I always listened for people calling out and looking for someone lost.

If I heard someone crying out, “Johnny where are you”? Or, “Come on in kids. Hurry up, dinner is ready.” Or even, “Where are you daddy? I need your help with my homework.”

Sure enough, I was the one that would always find them. They would be right there in front of everyone's noses, but, unbelievably, no one ever looked for them there. They were totally oblivious and just had no idea where to look. However, I had this gift.

•  I would find them playing in the backyard.

•  I would find them listening to music with their headphones on.

•  I would find them taking showers and baths.

•  I would find them in the garage working with their power tools.

•  I would find them in the attic playing hide-and-go-seek.

•  I would find them on the toilet doing pooh-pooh in the bathroom.

•  I would find them down in the basement fixing the plumbing.

•  Why I would even find them in the spare bedroom doing all kinds of things.

Once I even found a boy raiding the refrigerator just before dinner. No one thought of looking for him in the kitchen. And boy, were his parents clueless or what! Why that's the very first place I would look. Where there's food that's where you'll find my chubby butt.

You'd also be surprised how many lost people I found sleeping—right in their own beds. No one ever thought of looking for them there. Can you imagine being that blind? But to me it didn't matter if they were lost in the house or backyard, I would always zero in on them. There was no hiding from me. I was that gifted. The media even gave me an honorary title, and so I became known as, “The Lost and Found Dodo Clown.” Nobody was ever lost in their house or yard with me on the job. You can bet everything you don't have on that!