While waddling through a city park, a man walking in front of me was singing “ Happy Birthday to You .” He was heading for a picnic area where adults and kids were having a party. Looking a little confused, he stopped, took off his vest, and adjusted some colored wires and stuff. Then, he sat down behind a tree, closed his eyes, and started to pray in some strange language. I didn't want to disturb him so I snuck up behind him, looked at the vest, and took out the funny-looking and smelly brown stuff.

After a few minutes, the man stopped praying and stood up. He pretended not to see me, put his vest back on, and walked towards the picnic area. He got to where the party was and started singing “ Happy Birthday to You ” again. When he found himself surrounded by young kids, he pushed a button and the vest exploded. To his surprise, all kinds of candy, chocolate, and goodies came flying out all over the place. Shocked beyond shock, he dropped to his knees and praised God. “Thank you Allah. This is a miracle. I didn't want to kill kids. I love kids.”

Right away the park security guards came over, hit him all over with clubs, and held him down. “WE GOT OURSELVES A TERRORIST! A MURDERING TERRORIST!” They hollered. They said he was a very dangerous man, but he just looked confused and nervous to me, that's all.

The confused man looked at me and whispered, “It was you, wasn't it? I thought my vest smelled sweet. Bless you for saving my eternal soul.”

“Yes, it was me. I put candy, chocolate, and all kinds of sweets in your vest. You can't go to a birthday party without them. I knew that in your heart of hearts yummy goodies were what you really wanted to explode for the kids and not that dirty yucky brown stuff.”