1. I would have rescued KING KONG and told him that there were no bananas on top of the Empire State Building . And also that Fay Wrey really didn't love him. She was just an actress and was probably love pretending and doing it all for money and fame.

2. I would have saved JESUS CHRIST from being crucified by telling him to just keep walking on water until he reached America . He would have discovered it first and named it Jesusland and could have celebrated Christmas with the Indians.

3. I would have saved 6 MILLION JEWS from the Holocaust and stopped WW2 by buying all of Adolph Hitler's paintings and have him develop his talents. He would have become a famous artist instead of a dictator.

4. I would have saved BAMBI'S MOTHER by taking the pencil out of the cartoonist's hand before he drew the hunter that shot Bambi's mother. Or, better yet, I would have erased his gun completely.

5. I would have saved SAMSON from having his hair cut off and lose all his strength by giving Delilah a pair of plastic toy scissors. Then Samson's hair couldn't have been cut off.

6. I would have saved the TITANIC from sinking by putting a big battery-operated neon sign on the iceberg saying, “DETOUR—DANGER AHEAD.”

7. I would have saved millions of rabbits from multiplying by going into their rabbit holes and taking away their calculators. Rabbits are great multipliers, as you know.