People all over the world wear sunglasses to protect their eyes against the rays of the sun. But what about protection against moon glow? I bet nobody ever thought about solving that problem. Lilly Lollipop gave me some information about the moon and it sure is scary. The moon is a powerful monstrous force.
- Billions of people are causing themselves severe eyestrain by looking for the Man in the Moon.
- It controls the tides and gets sun tanners wet after they fall asleep on the beach.
- It gives you moonbeam fever which has been known to be more fatal than golden sunray quivers.
- It makes you fall in love with total strangers by putting a spell on you.
- When the moon is full, it brings out the neighborhood lawnmower lazies and naked butt crazies.
- There's also a legend that the moon turns ordinary citizens into werewolves and vampires.
All legends have some truth to them, so why take a chance. Protect yourself from the evil moonbeams with my invention — Working Classes Moon Glasses. They have pitch-black lenses so you can't see a thing through them, and I mean nada. What you don't see can't possibly hurt you. Of course, you'll never know where you're going or where you are. But that's a small price to pay for saving you from all the above possible disasters, isn't it? Did you ever see a blind man get moonbeam fever? Well, that proves my point.
Most likely you're wondering what to wear when the moon is half-full or crescent shaped? My Dodo recommendation is to wear just one lens or my crescent moon-shaped lenses. (Yes, I've thought of everything.)
My Moon Glasses also protect you against falling green moon cheese debris, elbow moon burn, moon goon glare, total and partial moon eclipse blues, as well as unwanted pregnancies. And best of all, they'll protect you against injuries while attempting to do the Michael Jackson moonwalk.
So what do you think about my Working Classes Moon Glasses? Personally, I'm positive they're going to be the new-fangled trendy un-craze one of these days, the next biggest thing not to buy before you die.
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