1. Do you think that your friends are much smarter than you?

a) I don't have any friends.

b) I have an IQ of 546, you Neanderthal.

c) Brains are in the eyes of the beholder.

d) Just thinking like that could get you arrested.

Correct Dodo answer: No, cuz my friends can't come up with half the stupid stuff that I can.

2. How much confidence do you have in yourself?

a) I can do everything that I don't want to do.

b) I can defy gravity and morph into a helium balloon.

c) Taking a Dodo test is demeaning.

d) Enough confidence to kick your ass, buddy.

Correct Dodo answer: I have complete confidence in myself. I just don't believe in anything that I think, say, or do.

3. How many answers do you have to get correct to pass this Dodo test?

a) 75% of them.

b) Everyone except the wrong ones.

c) None, never took a test in my life—ain't about to start.

d) How dare you make a blind person take your test?

Correct Dodo answer: Only one, as long as you get it 100% right.

4. Why do you think your friends like you?

a) I give them all my money and never ask for it back.

b) They look great next to me cuz I'm a fat gluttonous slob.

c) I let them beat me up when they're depressed.

d) They feel like geniuses next to me.

Correct Dodo answer: Because I give them feelings of self worth and accomplishment by always letting them do all my work.

5. Are you trying to eliminate some of your bad habits?

a) I'm perfect already, you moron.

b) I'm hiring an exorcist to do that.

c) Bad habits are like rabbits, they keep multiplying like God intended.

d) Work is a bad habit.

Correct Dodo answer: No, because I love my bad habits. They took me a lifetime to perfect.

6. What do people say when you come over?

a) Stay out of my refrigerator.

b) Its about time you didn't come over.

c) You're just in time to unclog my toilet.

d) You owe me 100 bucks.

Correct Dodo answer : They say that two's company, three's a crowd, and just one of me is a nuisance.

7. If you were teaching Goofball Psychology 101 what would you say about success?

a) Don't knock it if you ain't got it.

b) Success is only for the successful.

c) Failure and success both have seven letters.

d) Successful people should all go to hell.

Correct Dodo answer: Never give up. If you're a failure at everything, with a little more hard work you can be a more successful failure at something else .

8. What is your philosophy on procrastination?

a) Procrastinating about work is hard work.

b) Work is for non-procrastinators.

c) Workaholics should be sent away for therapy.

d) Lazy workers make others look good.

Correct Dodo answer: Procrastination is a disease of the happy Dodo mind. If you were smart enough not to do it yesterday, why would you be stupid enough to do it today?

9. What do we call people who never shower, comb their hair, brush their teeth, or change their clothes?

a) Losers.

b) Intellectual slobs.

c) Dead people.

d) Newlyweds on a honeymoon.

Correct Dodo answer: We call them Dodos-in-training.

10. How many steps do you need to walk to get ahead of everybody?

a) Walk the other way; they'll all be behind you.

b) Five steps and not a penny more.

c) Slow down or you'll give yourself a ulcer.

d) Get in the car and drive past the walking and hitching idiots.

Correct Dodo answer: Don't get ahead of yourself or anybody else for that matter; you haven't passed the test yet, not by a long shot.

11. Why aren't there more Dodos in the world?

a) You're not looking hard enough.

b) People killed them off.

c) Most people aren't smart enough to be Dodos.

d) They all went back to Dodoland.

Correct Dodo answer : Not enough birdbrains like you are memorizing the answers to my IQ test.

12. Do you believe in taking showers on a regular basis?

a) Only after I win the one thousand mile marathon.

b) I shower after an eclipse.

c) No, water is too wet and slippery.

d) Yes, I shower at least 24 times a day.

e) Is this a trick question?

Correct Dodo answer: I can't take showers. My friend gave me a bar of soap for my birthday but I don't know how to use it. The instructions were missing.

Give Out a Holler You're A Dodo Scholar

Congratulations!
You've passed the Dum Dum Dodo IQ test with flying feathers. So enjoy your unique status.
Now you are one of us!

YOU'RE A DODOIZED HUMAN NOW!

Welcome To My Goofball World Of Peace,

Love & Laughter For Now And Forever After!