1. I may have nothing, but I’m still willing to share my nothing
with everyone.

2. It’s not what I say – it’s what I don’t say that says absolutely
nothing.

3. I can do two things at once, just not at the same time.

4. I love my bad habits cuz they took me a lifetime to perfect.

5. Making a mess is easy, but making a bigger mess is even
easier.

6. Don’t expect me to be on time cuz I hate surprising people.

7. You’re a Dodo if you go to work on your day off.

8. I took an IQ test and the psychiatrist was shocked and
impressed.
He said, “I can’t believe you got a Perfect Zero.”

9. I have the nicest boss in the world. He always says,
“Go home goofball, you’ve done enough damage for today.”

10. My teacher says that I make more mistakes than a 1000
people Make in a lifetime. I said, wow-wee! I didn’t know I
was that good.