1. I would have rescued KING KONG and told him that there were no bananas on top of the Empire State Building. And also that Fay Wrey really didn’t love him. She was just an actress and was probably love pretending and doing it all for money and fame.

2. I would have saved JESUS CHRIST from being crucified by telling him to just keep walking on water until he reached America. He would have discovered it first and named it Jesusland and could have celebrated Christmas with the Indians.

3. I would have saved 6 MILLION JEWS and stopped WWII by buying up all of Adolph Hitler’s paintings. That would have encouraged him to develop his talents and become a famous artist instead of a dictator.

4. I would have saved the TITANIC from sinking by putting a big battery-operated neon sign on the iceberg saying, “DETOUR—DANGER AHEAD.”

5. I would have saved millions of rabbits from over-multiplying by going into their rabbit holes and taking away their calculators. Rabbits are great multipliers, as you know.