Schizophrenic Sally Mae mumbled, murmured, and babbled all kinds of nonsense constantly. Mysterious voices spoke to her, which she imitated, and then jumped around like a frantic lunatic. Patients ran from her cuz whatever she got her hands on she threw at them. But her most endearing quality was that she smelled like a toilet full of kaka before being flushed. That was her pure natural cologne.

Wow-wee, was I impressed with her or what! I couldn't figure out who was in there. There were so many Sally Mae's and each one was crazier than the next. Now here was a girl that could teach me all about human rollercoaster emotions. How could I ever get to be that crazy, I wondered and hopefully hoped. It wasn't gonna be easy, but I was an optimum optimist. She must have practiced every day to be that nutty. Can you just imagine what it's like being a nutsoid humanoid schizophrenic paranoid 24/7?

Crazy is as crazy does , so I tried to mimic her, but I was no match for her genius. It became obvious to me why our paths criss-crossed. I was meant to learn human crazy from her and fine tune my routine. All I had to do was follow and watch her every move. Then I could mimic her s chizophrenic behavior and Dodo perfect it to fit any situation. But it was obvious that it would not be as easy as I thought. After all, she had a lifetime of experience being herself, and I had to learn to be like her in a very short time. This way I could save people from themselves before they self-destructed.

Boy, was Schizophrenic Sally Mae and all her personalities great teachers, or what? S he and I crazy glue bonded, and I'm forever in her debt for helping me become the Dodo that I wasn't.